Twenty Years and Counting

                April 2, 2014 would have been my 20^th wedding anniversary.   When my late husband, Glen, died of cancer, that dream was lost.  But, I don’t grieve as one who has no hope.  I haven’t stopped counting my years because I am confident that God still has plans for my life – plans for a hope and a future. 

                There is nothing good about cancer.  There is nothing good about a 45 year old spouse dying of cancer.  But, I do cling to the fact that there is EVERYTHING good about Jesus, who can take the scraps of our lives and create a masterpiece.    
                God brought my late husband, Glen, and I together at a time when we were both lonely.  When I married Glen, I knew that he had a history of cancer, but I also knew that God had brought us together to share a love that could not be shaken by life’s circumstances.  For the first few years of our marriage, he was relatively healthy.  When the cancer returned in 2003, and major surgery was required, it did shake our world.  Everything about our lives changed.  Ambulances, Intensive Care Units and Emergency Rooms became our world.  For the next 4 ½ years, Glen endured a long, painful journey of suffering.   
                Jesus Himself has now restored Glen, and his suffering has ended.  Towards the end of Glen’s life, he clung to one specific scripture: 1 Peter 5:10

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.”

            Grief can be a very complicated, constant companion.   I did grieve during the years of Glen’s illness and even more so after he died.  During the time immediately after he died, there were many ups and downs, like the ocean waves during a hurricane.   There were also days when I wasn’t sure that I could persevere through one more day of learning to start life over again.  This wasn’t how I had planned to live out my “happily ever after story”.   But I saw that God was so faithful.  During the especially difficult times, He would send me a word of encouragement through a friend or my family. I had to learn that it was ok to sit with my unwelcome grief companion and see what my companion could teach me.  
           Through this journey, I have learned that suffering is a gift, the raw material through which we can learn to participate with God in His work.  If we allow God to take our suffering, He will make something beautiful that can change the world for the people around us.  This suffering also taught me that the only way to live life to the fullest is to trust God and His purposes.  I am looking ahead and eager to join God as He builds His kingdom.  I haven’t forgotten Glen, but I do press on to take hold of that which has taken hold of me. 

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philipians 3:11-13

     During the past couple of years, I have had several opportunities to join God in building His kingdom through the local and international missions activities of my church – Quest Church, Augusta, Georgia. http://www.thequestonline.com/

              Through our international missions outreach, Quest Church is in the process of establishing a sister church in Belize, Central America.  I have had the opportunity to join the international missions team on several mission trips to Belize.  I have met the most amazingly resilient people, but one family in particular has captured my heart.
                The head of the family, Delores, is a seamstress  like me.  I have been to her house to hang out just like I would with one of my American friends.  But her house is very different because it does not have running water or electricity.  Even though Delores and I have very different lives, we are more alike than different.  We are alike because we have both continued to press in to Jesus – to see what NEW THING He is going to do.  Delores lives in a very poor, rural village named Myomopan.   In spite of her meager surroundings, she reaches out to her neighbors sharing the love of Jesus with them.  She has taught herself and her family to make the most beautiful embroidered designs on pieces of cloth.   During my most recent trip to Belize, I purchased several of Delores’ embroidered designs and created a quilt.  This quilt is God’s masterpiece because it is a tangible picture of how God can take  two lives from two different countries and create a masterpiece.

 

                If you have ever struggled to find purpose in your life, in your brokenness, in your failure, then be encouraged, God does see your struggle.  Give every part of your life to Jesus.  He will take your hopes, failures, your problems, and make something beautiful that only He could imagine.